My daughter's Wedding

One of the hardest things I have had to do so far in my life was watch my daughter get married.  When I say hard, I don't mean it in a sense that I didn't want her to get married or that we didn't like her future husband but hard in that I was allowing her to be on her own and to become an adult; a seperate entity from our nuclear family.  I know, I know...you are supposed to be happy for your children when they find their mate but it was a feeling like no other to see her walk down the aisle and know that she would not be returning to my home...ever.  That little bundle of golden curls and curious nature that I gave birth to would no longer be mine alone.  We would now have to share her.  How would that be possible?


Kyleigh was a beautiful bride, the venue was perfect, and the ceremony was wonderful.  We ate, we danced, and we visited with all of the family and friends that joined us for the celebration.  There was no cold feet from the couple (only her mother had them).  When it was all over, that is when the reality of it all set in.  We would be going to our home and she to hers.  It tore at our heart because the family that we had put together was now missing a piece of its puzzle. 


Doubts and fears started to set in...thoughts like, did we give her enough love to make her happy? Was she prepared for the world without us? What happens if she makes the wrong choices or decides that she no longer needs us?  I watched the grooms family and it seemed so much easier for them to watch the kids drive off into the night, alone.  Did they do or know something that we didn't?


My husband watched her leave with as much misery as I did.  It felt as though a part of us had died.  She was the reason that her father and I started our life together so young.  And as harsh as it sounds, we were grieving the loss of our daughter.  We missed her horribly the minute that she said "I do."


It has been a couple of weeks since the wedding and, it is getting easier.  I had to start working on the new office in her old room because walking past it and still seeing her bed and left over items only screamed...she is not returning. The room now houses our main computer, books, movies, and all the other things we seem to think we need to keep organized.  We have learned that this is just a transition and it will be okay.  She does call and visit, she still asks for advice, and yes, she still needs her parents.  I think that she even misses us a little.  We might not be able to protect her anymore but we can act as a defense in those things that matter. 


Our relationship has changed only in that it is now more mature.  Yes, we will need try to find that fine line between parents and friendship. We want her to be happy and have to remember that she is making her own choices now, her own way in life.  We want to be the parents that stand back and wait for her to need us...not just offer what we think she needs.  That is not our place anymore.  She is a young women with a whole life ahead of her.  One that we want to always be a part of.